Now that football season is over.....(January 1999)

Jolee is a great little helper. She loves to assist everyone, and whether it's returning the brush and lotion to the changing table, throwing her old pull-up in the garbage, or stuffing her laundry into the Elmo hamper, she always comes running back yelling "I Did It! I Did it!"

Just the other day, Melanie asked Jolee to get a bottle of water from the fridge. She scampered into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of water. Then she decided she wanted her own bottle. Scamper, scamper. And she's back with a sports bottle of Poland Springs water (yes, the brand from Seinfeld). Trouble is, she can't get the top open and it frustrates her. Then Grandma Cyndee shows her how to open the top, then tips it over to show Jolee how the water comes out. Jolee thinks this is great, and proceeds to dump water all over the coffee table. The bottle is confiscated. No problem for Jolee! Off to the kitchen again, and then, an absence of Jolee a little longer than the previous water excursions. Suddenly, Jolee reappears, struggling with the bottle she's holding, not a plastic water bottle, but a big bottle of wine.

When Melanie related this story to me, my first concern was not for the safety of my daughter, traipsing about the house with heavy bottles of wine. My first thought was, "Cool, now I don't have to get up from the couch to get beer anymore."

TOP TEN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS (January 1999)

Jolee's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions:

10. Stop throwing balls at people at close range.

9. Stop repeating everything her parents say, especially the stuff they really don't want her to say.

8. Terrorize Goblin the Cat less.

7. Apply to become a National Football League referee. She, after all, knows the defintion of a "fumble."

6. Have less fun in the Timeout Chair (also known as the Gothic Chair).

5. Join the cast of The Teletubbies.

4. Go cold turkey from Barney & Friends.

3. Console her Daddy every time he is sad (like she did last night after the Packers lost----by running around the room yelling "Yay GIANTS!").

2. Stop acting like a Shopping Cart is a medieval torture device.

and Jolee's Number 1 New Years' Resolution:



1. Be the Best Big Sister a little girl could be.